


Smile for the camera

by CirrusGrey



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (sort of), Character Study, Episode Related, M/M, episode 188 spoilers, the mortifying ordeal of being seen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27644272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CirrusGrey/pseuds/CirrusGrey
Summary: SPOILERS FOR MAG 188!!!There was a camera watching him.Well. There were several cameras watching him, actually, but the one that was bothering him was the one perched above the door leading back to the street, fixing its judgmental gaze on him as he waited by the stairs to the basement.Martin was sorely tempted to flip it off.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 18
Kudos: 138





	Smile for the camera

There was a camera watching him.

Well. There were  _ several  _ cameras watching him, actually, but the one that was  _ bothering  _ him was the one perched above the door leading back to the street, fixing its judgmental gaze on him as he waited by the stairs to the basement.

Martin was sorely tempted to flip it off.

It had watched them both as they entered the house, swiveling around on its perch to keep them in its sightline, and zoomed in with a curious little whirring noise when Jon had kissed him before heading down into the basement to make his statement. The voyeuristic tendencies were disturbing enough, but what had  _ really  _ bothered Martin was the way it had focused again, clearly following Jon's path down the stairs, and then, ever so slowly, turned back to look at Martin once Jon was out of sight.

He knew it was ridiculous to assign emotions to a machine, but he couldn't help feeling that the camera was disappointed by this turn of events.  _ Why are you the one staying up here? _ it seemed to be thinking.  _ You're not as interesting as him. _

Martin gave in, and stuck his tongue out at the thing. It didn't react.

He crossed his arms tighter over his chest, hunching in on himself and directing his own gaze at the floor, trying to ignore it. At least there weren't as many in here as there were outside.

He was surprised by how much it was bothering him, the cameras and the things in the windows. He'd lived in London most of his adult life, after all: he was used to surveillance. Though... that had never felt as  _ personal  _ as this did. The normal London cameras watched  _ everyone, _ and as uncomfortable as it was to have all his movements recorded it was easy enough for Martin to forget that someone was watching the footage on the other side.

Not here, though. Here, the gaze was far too conscious to belong to a mere machine, and all the eyes of the world were all on  _ him. _

Him and Jon.

...Jon, really. Jon was the  _ celebrity  _ here, the Archivist, the one everyone knew. Martin was just along for the ride, the overshadowed sidekick, the  _ valet, _ and he couldn't help but feel that the cameras had seen all that he was and found him wanting.

No, that wasn't right. Martin shook his head. He might not have had the supernatural pedigree that Jon did, but that didn't mean he was unimportant, or overlooked. If these cameras really  _ were  _ Elias's welcome wagon, he could be certain that the man wasn't going to underestimate him again. And if it was the Eye  _ itself... _ well, apparently it was fond of him.

It was just picking at his insecurities, feeding on his fear of being worthless through the constant, unending scrutiny. He had to remember that, and not let it get to him.

_ Christ, _ he hated this place.

He wondered what that said about him. He was balanced between the Eye and the Lonely, after all, but where the Lonely domains felt peaceful and calm -  _ comfortable, _ Jon had said, and he was right - the Eye left him itching and anxious, with a thrum of tension under his skin.

Perhaps he was just accustomed to hidden suffering, after a lifetime spent pasting on false smiles and carefully redirecting any conversation that strayed too close to the topic of family. He wasn't used to everyone  _ knowing  _ the things he was struggling with.

There was a noise of footsteps on the stairs, and every camera in the room swiveled to focus on Jon as he came back up. Martin did as well, then rolled his eyes.

"I feel like a copycat," he said.

Jon chuckled. "I'd much rather have  _ your  _ eyes on me then  _ theirs." _

"Hmm." Martin shot a glaring look back at the camera over the door. Its focus had widened to include both him and Jon as soon as Jon had reached the top of the stairs.

"Everything alright?" Jon asked after a moment, when Martin hadn't spoken.

"Yeah, I guess," Martin said, sighing. "It's just getting to me a bit. The  _ watching." _

Jon nodded, looking thoughtful. Then he took a step closer to Martin and swept him into a hug. Martin spluttered for a moment as his world was suddenly filled with the worn cotton of Jon's old button-down, then hugged him back, pressing his face into Jon's chest.

"And what's this for?" he asked, laughing a bit.

"Hiding you," Jon said, sounding smug. "The cameras can't see you like this. Well, not your face, at least."

Martin blinked, and choked back another laugh. It was...  _ very  _ sweet of Jon to try, and even though it was doing nothing to lessen the feeling of being watched he burrowed closer, turning the laugh into a happy hum.

"Thank you," he said, and he could hear Jon's smile when he replied.

"You're welcome."

"Doesn't it bother  _ you?" _ he asked after a moment. "The cameras, the watching, all of it."

Jon made a considering noise. "Yes and no? It's not that I...  _ enjoy  _ being constantly observed, but I suppose I'm just used to it by this point."

Martin pulled back from the hug a bit to frown at him. "What do you mean?"

Jon shrugged. "I've been dealing with the feeling of being watched for years. Since I took the job as Archivist, really. At first it was just when I was reading statements, but at some point it became constant and I just... adapted. This place, this particular corner of London," he nodded outside. "It's all about the fear of being judged for your failures, of not living up to people's expectations. And that's just...  _ normal, _ for me. It  _ does  _ bother me, but it's not... new. If that makes sense?"

Martin nodded. If  _ he  _ was comfortable surrounded by hidden suffering, after a lifetime hiding his own... it was understandable that Jon would be comfortable surrounded by judgement, when he'd spent so long worrying about letting people down.

"Besides," Jon added, with a breath of laughter. "I can hold my own in a staring contest, these days."

Martin rolled his eyes, stepping back from the hug so he could shove Jon lightly on the shoulder. "Ha ha, very funny."

"I don't know what you mean, I'm being completely serious," Jon said, straight-faced, but his voice betrayed him, lilting with humor.

"Sure you are," Martin sighed, but he couldn't keep up the act for too long and the corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. He reached out, grabbing Jon's hand.

"Come on then, Mr. Staring Contest," he said, squeezing it lightly. "We should get moving."

"If you're ready," Jon agreed. "We've still got rather a lot of London to traverse before we get to the Panopticon."

"All the more reason to get moving now."

"There's a lot of cameras," Jon cautioned, taking a step toward the door.

Martin followed, casting one last look at the camera over the door as he approached. It was still watching him, lens intensely focused on every move he made.

"Good," he said, and pushed the door open. "Let's go give them something worth looking at."


End file.
